


Burning stars

by Katherinexx1



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherinexx1/pseuds/Katherinexx1
Summary: At the end of December 2020 we learned that Gillian and Peter broke up.This is the story how David reacts to this news.(This is fictional, so I'm sorry if I offend someone by mentioning some things. I do not own these characters.)
Relationships: Gillian Anderson & David Duchovny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Burning stars

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for helping me and beta reading @ATTHS_TWICE, you are the best! x
> 
> Crystal, you motivate me and inspire me to get better!

**_End of December 2020_ **

**_Gillian’s place_ **

_ He had those kind eyes _

_ that shone with the light of _

_ “everything will be ok”. _

_ \- Atticus - _

  
  


"How are you?" His voice sounded sweet and kind, but most of all, familiar and warm. His call came unexpectedly, but somehow, it was also right on time.

She shivered slightly as she gently sat up from lying down on the couch, where she had been all day. The phone was pressed tightly against her cheek as her voice struggled to come out of her throat. 

"Hi...," she said weakly, after a light cough. The sound barely made it to the other side of the line, but she smiled at the sound of his voice.

She had missed his warm and caring voice so much. In fact, she had missed the presence of him more than she could ever express. But now, he sounded so near, so close. 

"Gillian?" He spoke again, patiently waiting for her to answer. The way he said her name warmed her all over, the softness of his speech calming her, it made her feel alive again. It soothed her and took away so much pain and anger. 

"I'm here," she whispered, running her finger down her cheekbone and wiping away a tear. Desperately she tried to hide the pain and sorrow from him, but she failed miserably. 

"I…" he started, but then stopped, as though thinking of the correct words to say. "I… just wanted to make sure you were okay." He continued, hesitation clearly seeping through his voice. 

Gillian smiled sadly, touched by his concern. It reminded her of the years when they had worked together. There had surely been moments when she hated him and everything concerning their jobs, but now she was reminded of the love and compassion that continued to remain between them. They had once promised each other to always be there for one another and to have each other’s back. 

"I'm alive," she answered in pain, her voice not as strong or bubbly as it usually was, but she tried her best to hide it.

"Don't hide from me, G. I know exactly how you feel right now. Been there many times before with you during a heartbreak. You love unconditionally with all your heart, and it breaks you into a million pieces when it goes wrong." David spoke softly, and it caused her eyes to fill with tears and her breath to catch. He was so right…he always was. 

He heard her sobbing softly on the other end of the line and it broke him. When it came to her, he always felt he was on edge, protective even. He just couldn't stand seeing anyone hurt her. Years ago, he had even thrown one of her love interests from the set because he had been violent to her. 

"You were right again," Gillian whispered through the phone. "You warned me about him, David, but I just wouldn't listen." 

"It's not a question of who was right or wrong, Gill. I just want you to be okay. And by the sound of it, you are just the way I pictured you would be- not fine at all." David's words were true. Even though they hurt, he was right, and she couldn't hide it from him.

She didn't answer and all he heard for a few minutes, was light sobs and sniffs. The phone softly landed on her shoulder as she tried to wipe away her tears. It wasn't the fact that Peter had cheated on her and she had dumped him. It was more the fact that he treated her the way he did. He used and abused her over and over and she was glad she had finally gotten rid of him. 

"Are you in London, right now?" David asked after a few minutes of silence. Silence between them was never uncomfortable. He knew when to give her time and when to hold back. He gave her all the time she needed and she knew he was there for her, even within the heavy silence. 

"Euhm… no," she said, her voice hoarse and crackling. "I'm at my sister's place in New York.” She took a deep breath and mustered up some new energy. "I left right after I kicked him out. I couldn't stand to stay any longer in a place that reminded me of him. My sister is visiting my family in Chicago for the holidays so I have this place to myself to work on getting myself together."

"Is it working?" he asked and waited patiently for her answer. 

"To be honest…not really,” she said, combined with a deep sigh. "All I do is stare at the ceiling or out the window all day." She chuckled through her grief, not knowing how she managed it. 

She finally got up and slowly walked to the window overlooking Manhattan. Her jogging pants and hoodie hung baggy around her slender and petite figure. She knew David wasn't that far away from her, if he was still living in New York. But she didn't want to annoy him with her sorrow. That's why she had not thought of visiting him. But now, she craved to see him and to be held by him again. David had always been so sweet to her, caring and loving. She had always adored the way they got along. 

"You got me off the sofa,” she said with a soft smile, her gaze on Central Park. “That’s a start, I suppose.” 

"That's good,” he said with a small chuckle and she sighed as she leaned her head against the window. 

"Is it okay if I…" Her voice changed from sadness to hopeful. “Could I... stop by one day? We could maybe catch up? It would be good to have someone to talk to, if that's okay with you?" She was careful, not wanting to force herself on him. But, it would be nice to talk to someone who completely understood her for who she was, who knew her so well. 

"I'd like that very much,” he answered softly, unable to stop his smile, happy to know he would soon see his friend. 

Gillian smiled, the first smile in a long time she didn't feel the need to force. It was genuine, coming from deep within her heart. It felt so good to finally have that feeling again from someone who cared, truly cared, and not for some fake purpose. Her eyes sparkled and her body seemed to fuel itself with some much needed energy. It made her feel alive again.

"I really appreciate this, David," she said while her hand combed lightly through her hair, sliding down next to her ear and neck. She could feel how her heart raced from pure happiness. Her fingertips finally rested on the sore muscle in her shoulder and she gently massaged it while she held her phone in her other hand.

“It feels nice to have someone around who truly cares," she said and he could feel how thankful she was.

"I'm here," he spoke softly, his voice velvet and low. “Whenever you need me." He hoped she could feel the friendship and love he still felt for her. 

They went way back, more than 25 years. Every little downfall and every flaw was known. They knew what the other person needed at times when other people failed to see it. 

He could read her just by the way she laughed or the way her eyebrow arched. A talent not many people close to her possessed. David had been her rock at so many moments in her life and she was grateful for it. On numerous occasions, he had saved her from making the wrong choices. He had calmed her down when anxiety struck at its hardest and he had let her shine like a star when her confidence was at its lowest point. 

"Thank you, Dave.” She smiled brightly and even though he couldn't see it, he could feel it. 

"I’m here,” he said again. “When you’re ready…" 

  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

  
  


A couple of days, a few long phone calls, and many text messages later, Gillian's footsteps echoed through a familiar hallway somewhere near Central Park West. It looked exactly the same as she remembered. It had been a few years since the last time she had visited David's apartment. She had even stayed there for a few nights while he had been in Los Angeles. When she had been performing Streetcar, it had been nice to have a place to stay that was as comfortable to her as the Central Park penthouse David owned.

It was cold that December afternoon, but that wasn’t too surprising. Lately, it was windy and freezing in New York. Inside the building though, it was warm and the smell of fresh apple pie wafted through the air. The warmth of the building caused her to loosen up her wool winter coat as she entered. Reaching the elevator, she pulled her scarf from under her hair and lightly combed her fingertips through the loose curls to remove the static electricity. 

Her hair had gotten longer and she really loved that it looked the way it did almost 4 years ago. She regretted that  _ he _ had made her cut her hair because she had to finish a chapter in her life.

At the time, it had seemed the right thing to do, given the fact that her relationship with David wasn't as good as it once was, and the show had come to an end. She normally wouldn't care about the ending of a show she did, but 11 years of her life meant more to her than the ending they had given her character. 

She had been angry, hurt and done with it. Not the people, but the treatment of her character. 

_ He _ had fueled her anger, adding to it by constantly telling her what a joke of a show she was doing and that no one really cared for her. 

The thing she had regretted most was the way  _ he _ had gotten between her and David. No one had ever come between the two of them, their connection was simply too strong. Thinking about it now, she felt angry and hurt at how she had been manipulated and led to believe certain things. 

A deep sigh helped to calm her as she stepped into the elevator and pushed the penthouse button. She was anxious to see David again, especially as it had been so long. The green light on the panel indicated that he had agreed to let her in and her heartbeat quickened as the elevator began to rise. 

The moment it stopped on the top-level, and the doors slowly opened, the first thing she saw was his warm hazel eyes staring straight at her. He had a little stubble and his hair was a bit longer than she remembered, and fine lines on his face created a softness she definitely liked. 

His comfortable style, a loose deep blue shirt combined with a pair of comfy jeans, felt so familiar. This was the David she knew, his relaxed gaze immediately calming her and causing her to smile. The warmth that radiated from him made her forget the cold winter outside and in her heart.

"Hi," she smiled and slowly walked into his space. 

The sadness in her steel blue eyes made him weak. She still had that typical Gillian way of watching, almost seeming as though she could see right through you. He had always been drawn to her eyes, hardly able to look away when she looked at him. Her hair was longer than it had been the last time he saw her and it fell in beautiful curls on her shoulders. In his opinion she had aged so beautifully, he couldn't understand that she was in her fifties.

Her arms opened and wrapped around his neck as he stepped closer and took her in his arms. She had left the hoodie and baggy jogging pants at home and had made an effort to dress up a little. Nothing fancy; a loose light blue cashmere turtleneck and black pants.

It was a warm embrace for two separate souls finding comfort and protection from each other again. Briefly, their eyes closed to fully enjoy this moment. Gillian sought comfort, trying to ease the pain and David was desperate to make her forget her sorrow.

"Hi.” His warm voice whispered against her vanilla-scented hair and a smile formed on his lips. His arms felt comforting around her waist and his hand rubbed her back lightly. 

She had so missed human connections and someone who hugged her the way he did. The way he always had, his arms were a place she had always liked to be. 

Both sighed deeply when they slowly ended their embrace. Before he loosened his arms, he kissed her cheek lightly, his thumb rubbing the skin beneath her ear. 

"I'm so glad to finally see you again," he said as he carefully scanned her face and noticed the worry lines. His eyes couldn't deny how beautiful, but fragile she looked.

"Happy to see you too.” She smiled shyly and adjusted her hair as she stepped back. It felt so familiar and awkward all at the same time. Years had passed, but their bond was still there. He could feel how hurt she was and how desperately she tried to act as if she was okay.

"Come...," he said, gently taking her coat from her shoulders, taking her scarf with it. The blue of the cashmere worked wonderfully with the blond of her hair and the steel of her eyes. His hand found it's familiar spot on her back and he gently guided her through the kitchen. His touch was soft and made her feel at home. She felt welcome, seen and totally at ease.

"You know the way," David gestured as he hung her coat at a hanger in the closet between the kitchen and the living room. 

Her fingers ran over the brown leather couch near the window overlooking Central Park as she slowly made her way across the living room. 

“I forgot how beautiful it was up here," she said in awe, her shoulder resting against the wall next to the window as she admired the view. The beauty of it helped her to overcome the anxiety of having to talk about the troubles in her mind.

He observed her standing there, petite and beautiful as he remembered her. He smiled, watching the progress in her healing process. He knew she struggled and tried to hide it, even though she confided in him. But he knew her, she healed slowly, and this… this was going to take some time. 

"Yeah… the view is kinda stunning, I know," he answered, "Maybe you should visit more often, so you remember." His smile grew wider as she turned to him and she confirmed with a small nod of her head what he had just said.

"Feels good to have your energy again," she paused, choosing her words carefully. "I've missed that.” She smiled and her eyes sparkled for just a second. "Is it okay if I…” She pointed at the couch, and as soon as she saw his nod of confirmation, she sat down and slowly curled her legs up on it. 

"I was just about to make some fresh tea, you want...?" he asked, standing in the kitchen. He had been boiling water and cutting fresh mint leaves while she had explored his apartment with her eyes. 

"Yeah, that sounds great.” He heard her say from across the room as her shoes fell down next to the couch and it made him extremely happy to see how comfortable she was in his place. 

He soon joined her, sitting down beside her, carefully handing her an extra-large cup of fresh peppermint tea. 

"Careful," he warned her. 

"Thank you," she whispered, nudging him slightly. The tea smelled great and the warmth of the cup made her feel even more comfortable.

After a few sips, she gently placed the still hot cup on the coaster in front of her on the coffee table. 

"You have talent there. Wonderful tea," she said softly.

Her hand, almost of its own accord, came to rest on his thigh, where it seemed to belong. It burned on his skin, but it also showed she needed his presence. 

No words were spoken, only silence filling the room, though it wasn't uncomfortable. It brought a sense of comfort and reassurance to both of them. Sitting in silence next to someone not being forced to keep the conversation going, she loved it because talking sometimes exhausted her. Now even more than ever. The thoughts crowding around in her own mind were already loud enough.

He wanted to give her the time to tell him what was really on her mind, time she needed to process and to ground herself. At first glance, she seemed fine and kind of careless, but he knew the problem was rooted deep in her heart and had troubled her mind. 

They had spent time together, phone calls and text messages, but she never really spoke about what had hurt her soul and had crushed her heart into a million pieces. He could see how she suffered and how it ate away the bubbliness he so loved about her. He loved the free spirit she could be, but now he saw how that had disappeared. She constantly seemed deep in thought, her answers to him taking a moment to be spoken when he asked her something. The simplest of things took time, as she had trouble keeping it all carefully hidden. 

_ But, if she didn't want to let it all out, she didn't have to,  _ he thought, even though he knew it would help her to move on. 

A deep unintended sigh from him seemed to wake her from her troubled haze. She was slightly startled and looked at him, giving him a sweet smile before she reached over to sip her tea.

"Want to talk about it?" he quietly offered, referring to her silence and 'the thing' that she didn't want to talk about. His warm gaze landed on her fingers, busily fidgeting in her lap, before he met her eyes. 

He was careful with her, knowing how fragile she was, even if to him she was the strongest woman he knew. 

She bit her lip, inside a struggle was at hand whether she would tell or not. His hand slowly grasped hers, a touch so light, she barely felt it. His eyes never left her face, and she saw how soft they were, never wanting to force her. 

"It's okay too if it's too early," he whispered, while his thumb gently rubbed over her wrist. "No pressure.” His voice was calming. 

She smiled, thankful for his sweet words, and a tear fell from her eyes onto their joined hands in her lap. Through her tears, she tried to smile, but her body refused to listen to her desires. 

"I really thought he was  _ the _ man of my life," she suddenly sobbed and rolled her eyes at the sarcasm and disbelief in her own words, "what the fuck was I thinking?". 

The pain in her voice was intense and he felt it sting with every syllable coming out of her. Her free hand dried her tears, wanting to get herself together as soon as she could. It hurt her, given the fact that she had called Peter that a year ago. Which she had never done in her life, though the door was always open. 

"Fuck, why am I like this? Tell me, David!" Her angry self made her fingers claw at the collar of his shirt as she turned to him. Her eyes stared asking him, hoping he could give an answer to the question of why she couldn’t seem to find someone to truly love her. She was angry at herself for letting people into her fragile heart, giving them her all, only to find her own heart shattered a few years later.

He calmed her by laying his hands over her tense fingertips that were still holding onto the fabric of his shirt tightly. He gently let her fall against his chest while her breathing slowed down as he softly hummed soothingly. 

"Don't blame yourself, Gillian. It was simply not meant to last. I never had a good feeling with this guy. Please don't let someone who doesn't deserve you make you feel like that. He isn't worth it! And you are strong, never doubt that. You are the strongest woman I have ever met." He spoke softly to her, his breath gently waved through her hair, her hands on his chest and her head resting against his shoulder. His arms held her and tried to comfort her as much as he could.

She was torn between anger and sadness, but all she ever wanted was just to feel happiness, wondering if she would ever feel that way again. He was right, she  _ was _ strong and it was silly to blame herself for something she couldn't control. 

Slowly, she left the safe haven of his embrace and sat up again. He looked at her and he couldn't resist scanning her face. The sadness was still present, but he also seemed to recognize a fierceness he had not seen for a long time. He wanted to talk, but she stopped him from saying one word. 

"I don't want to feel like this anymore, you know. I’m tired of it, this is not me!" she said as she stood up and walked over to the window overlooking the great basin of the Park.

"I'm so done with feeling as if _ I  _ did something wrong!" She didn't look straight at him, her gaze traveled over the snow-covered rooftops of the city. 

He just let her do what felt right for her to do or say. He listened and was there if she needed him to be there. 

She chuckled as she turned to him again.    
  


"Funnily enough, it reminds me of a line, Scully once said.” She paused and waited to fully get the line out the way she wanted it to come out.

_"I_ _am not going to let this thing beat me_." 

She delivered the line as perfectly as she did 20 years ago. She shook her head because the X-Files was something she seemed to hold back from remembering. As if someone had forced her to forget. But this line was stronger than the prohibition. Even though it puzzled her, that sentence had so much meaning and it surely changed the atmosphere. 

His face lit up the moment he heard her say those words, feeling as if the years and lines faded and it brought him back to 1998. He stood up and walked closer to where she was standing. As he approached her, her smile grew wider and her arms reached out for him. Almost as if they played the whole scene over again, but then 20 years later.

" _ Come on back," _ he whispered with a bright smile as her head finally rested against his chest. His steady heartbeat helped her to relax and her arms pulled him closer to her. 

His arms closed so easily around her and she just let it happen. She didn’t need much from him, just the closeness they’d always had, just like this. The times he had hugged her and comforted her during their X-Files history, she couldn’t even put a number on it. David wasn’t really a talker, he preferred listening and he’d rather show he cared by a simple touch, eye contact, or an embrace. Just like this.

_ “The truth will save you…”  _ he whispered against her temple as his hand cupped her face and he made her look at him. He also recited his lines and it made him happy as he spoke those words. 

He could feel how she grinned under his touch and how this silly game lifted her spirits. He lightly pressed his lips on her forehead, just like Mulder did in this particular scene. She smiled at the cuteness of all of this and her eyes thanked him.

The deep blue of her eyes struck him, it had changed color. From steel cold blue into a warm deep blue. As she stepped back, her hand gently rubbed his back and he captured her hand before she could walk back into the room. 

Without even saying a word, that small gesture spoke for itself. 

_ I’m here for you… always. _

**Author's Note:**

> True friends  
> are burning stars  
> they shine brightest  
> on those darkest nights  
> \- Atticus - 
> 
> Leave me a comment with your opinion.  
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
